Goodbye, My Friend

I don't usually check my personal e-mail at work, but I did that day. After reading the first e-mail in my inbox, I was shocked. 

My facial expressions easily betray me and it's hard for me to hide my emotions. Shortly after, coworkers were asking me what's wrong and if I'm alright. I nodded and continued with my work. But my mind was gone. I then noticed myself simply sitting and staring into space, for I'm not sure how long, until I pushed the thought out of my mind and continued on with work.

I have been a part of the orchestra for many, many years, but I never really talked to you until the recent past 2 years. It may be because I've lost my grandpa when I was fairly young, that I always enjoy talking to seniors. I wished I had started talking to you earlier on, because you're one of the nicest and easiest to talk to. Not only were you always encouraging me, but you were so caring too. You knew that I don't drive all the time and you'd always asked if I needed a ride home. I remember one time, we had set up to meet at a skytrain station, but we didn't find each other until at least half an hour later because we were waiting at opposite ends. You were not mad at all. Even though the event that we were planning to go to was cancelled because of poor weather, we ended up just chatting at the station and eating chocolate pretzels.

You seemed to be relatively fit because you didn't have a tummy and during breaks when all the snacks were brought out, you'd always watch what you put in your mouth. You'd always tell me which snacks were the tastiest and not too sweet as you knew I didn't like overly sweetened treats. 

A more recent conversation I've had with you was regarding your beloved traditional Chinese instrument, pipa. My friend had left one over at my house and I told you that I really liked this pipa song and I was trying to play it. The next time I saw you, you brought a set of pipa picks for me as you knew I didn't have any. I told you that once I've found my own set, I'd give it back to you. You said not to worry. The next time we talked about this, I told you I had broken one of the 4 strings on the pipa. You told me that you could give me one, but I said it was OK and that I'd find one myself. However, you said you had just gotten Yvonne to bring back nearly 100 of each of the pipa strings for you so you could spare me one and bring it to me next time, so I agreed. But next time never came. And it never will.

Even now, I've been wondering how you could have just left like that. We didn't finish our conversation, I still have lots of questions about pipa that I want to ask you. I still have things I want to chat to you about. And, I guess that last email I sent you will just be sitting in your inbox. It's just all too sudden.

Sometimes, I feel like nobody would notice my absence due to my small part in the orchestra, but you proved me wrong. When I missed out on rehearsals continuously, I'd get an e-mail from you. It may have been just a simple e-mail with 1 sentence, but it meant a lot to me. I believe you attended every single rehearsal, until the the last month before our performance. I totally thought you went on vacation. But then, you didn't come to the last rehearsal, nor did you show up at our performance. The thought of you being sick did enter my mind, but I thought you had just caught a bad flu. That day, while we were having our last rehearsal, being nervous before going on,stage, eating from our take-out boxes before the performance, going on stage, and playing every single song including our encore, you were in the hospital. Little did we know, you were making your last few breaths on earth.

I'm really glad our paths crossed. Rest in peace, my friend.