Hand Sanitizer and Changing Strings on a Guitar (Clinical Journal)

In my undergraduate classes, I’ve read and studied a number of cases where patients drank hand sanitizer to satisfy their alcohol addiction. Nonetheless, reading about cases and actually being at the scene to witness are two very different things. I was still very shocked upon actually witnessing a situation when a patient, who was held in custody, asked for hand sanitizer. In fact, I was even surprised at myself for feeling shocked. I was also surprised to see two policemen by his bedside the whole day when one of this patient`s feet was already chained to his bed. As I thought about it afterwards, I came up with a reason as to why I experienced these emotional feelings. Typically, I don`t develop too much emotion from reading cases about patients or even simply reading leisure novels. It is because sometimes, I forget that behind all the words, the patient I’m reading about is an actual human being, who has a family and 

belongs in a community. Thinking back to when the nurse refused to give him hand sanitizer, the patient literally said, “Man, I really gotta get off this addiction.” I'm not sure what to take from his comment. On one hand, I was surprised to hear that because I didn`t know that not only was he aware of his own situation, but had also wanted to become better. On the other hand, he may only be saying what is expected from him in a circumstance like this, and not truly wanting to get off the addiction.

There were two particular circumstances in which I felt happy and at ease. A First Nations patient, R, was extremely well-mannered and polite to the nurse. When I first saw him resting in bed, he looked very weak and I had a hard time understanding him. To me, it seemed that he really needed to put in a lot of effort and energy to talk. Hence, I was surprised that he said “thank you” every time the nurse did something for him. The second situation was when I heard that N, a patient diagnosed with HIV for over 15 years, was going to be discharged that day in the afternoon. He spent all morning changing the strings on his guitar and I felt so happy to see him so excited with his guitar. Behind all the illness and the hospital treatment, we have to remember that all these patients are just like normal people too with goals, dreams, hobbies, and interests. During a short conversation with him, I found out that he plays his guitar everyday and that it lets him take his mind off his health problems. As I personally have a great interest in music, it warmed up my heart to see that he finds great comfort in music as well. He was feeling super happy that he could go home. Hearing this, I felt just as happy and hopeful for him too.

First week of placements and I've already experienced such a wide range of emotions!